forgive me

Jenny Smith Uncategorized August 27, 2008 0 Minutes

I made this a year or two ago. It’s how I’m feeling today.

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Published August 27, 2008

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Your Palms Up Life

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My favorite moment yesterday? When I shared a ridiculous big dream with a friend and colleague. Her immediate reaction? "Oh, that's scary. Makes me want to lean in and hear more." Then she proceeded to take the dream even bigger than I had originally thought. When was the last time a new idea scared you in the best possible way? Maybe it woke you up to how small your thinking was. We were created by a big Love and this Love has some pretty big ideas of what it could do through you. Lean in. #keepdreaming #scaryisgood #youfullyalive

[ Making Room for Goodbyes] . My phone was on record while tears traveled down my warm cheeks. My sister sat next to me as sniffles filled our corner of the room. Our brothers and husbands sat behind us next to our mom. In front of us, we watched our dad do something he does well: transitions. After five years at Bend Church and forty years of full-time ministry, Dad was retiring. He told his church last fall and the new pastor was announced a few months ago. Lots of people worked behind the scenes to plan parties, prepare for their new pastor and celebrate their outgoing pastor. Typically, in the United Methodist Church, the outgoing pastor has a last Sunday and the new pastor arrives a week or two later. They’ve maybe spoken by phone or email a couple times. Maybe they know each other or they may not. But it’s rare that the outgoing and incoming pastor lead worship together. In the same room. With their beloved community. But there we were, watching our dad invite Pastor Jen up to receive a gift to the church. They prayed together. Dad released everyone to her care and love. Tears flowed. There was forgiveness, closure and a letting go. As Pastor Jen opened her palms, she received the new space to lead and love in this place. The actual transfer struck such a deep chord in my being. Why? It wasn’t just that I was celebrating Dad’s entire active ministry as a United Methodist elder. It went deeper than that. It was the ritual of saying goodbye... Read the rest at link in bio 👍🏼 . #goodbyesaregood #palmsuplife #letgo #receivethenew #transitions

Life keeps trying to get me to think its all about the big things. Changing something that matters, helping all the people, having enough money, advancing a career. But then I pay attention to moments like this and in an instant, the big story softens. My heart comes home. Sure, ambition and service are great. We need each other to welcome more Love in our world. But I don’t want one without the other. Let’s be people who know it’s great to go big *and* draw close. Here’s to noticing the Love right next to us. Even when it comes wrapped in people who drive us up the wall sometimes. Here’s to not missing our lives while living them. #payattention #palmsuplife #cooperatewithlove #consciousparenting #littlemoments

I used to assume everyone saw what I saw in life. So there was no big reason to speak up or out. Clearly everyone already knew and they didn’t need me adding my two cents. Now I know the way you see the world is different from what I see. Which means I *need* your story too. Don’t dismiss your unique vantage point because you’re assuming people already know. You hold a part of the puzzle, the conversation, the next step. Write what you see, share what you notice, talk about what’s wrong, name what’s working. Big scale, small scale doesn’t matter. Whisper, shout, scream or use your library voice. Speak. Take up your space. Invite others to take up theirs. This human experiment needs everyone on board, working together, becoming more fully alive. We’re just walking each other home. And we don’t have time to hold back. #superpower #palmsuplife #speakup #invitenewvoices #youfullyalive #jumpin #notimetoholdback #writerslife

Wedding day love. As someone whose starting the 15th year of marriage to my person, it’s fun to watch new couples and remember how it felt that first day. Here’s to the easy days when love feels effortless. Here’s to the annoying days when love feels awkward. Here’s to the hard days when love is an intentional choice. Making big promises to another person is no small feat. It can get lost in the craziness of wedding day preparations. Today I’m thinking of all the partners that show up to each other day in and day out. Here’s to cooperating with Love as it skips in and around us and our closest people. #palmsuplife #marriedlife #cooperatewithlove #chooseeachother #pastorlife

A word about messages and messengers. I used to think the message that wanted to come through me was about me. I knew it was about other things but my ego jumped to protect and prove. So if I posted something I wrote, I thought I was really just promoting *me.* . If I shared a photo of myself, then I was self-centered and seeking attention. If I noticed how many likes or comments something got, then I was propping up my own sense of self. But the more I explored this invitation to write, to create, to help birth new things into the world, the perspective changed. Plus, I grew up a little. 🙌🏼 . There’s a message that means a lot to me: living a palms up way of life, especially in the midst of our hustle culture. This message needs messengers. I get that now. A message doesn’t magically exist because we think it’s worthy of reflection. A message exists because someone cared enough to take up space and keep the conversation going. I’m willing to put my face on social once in a while if it means people get to see a real live breathing person practicing a way of being that feels true. I’m willing to share posts and essays and even write a book if it means readers get an opportunity to ask a new question and shift perspective in their one precious life. I’m willing for people to opt out if it’s not for them if it means I’m slowly connecting with people who care about this like I do. Here’s to finding my people! The ones who are over the overwhelm. Done with this insane way of living in our super fast world. The ones who can’t shake the feeling there’s a different way to do this. Can you help me find them? Tag a few friends below if you think this is a conversation they want in on too. We’re just walking each other home ❤️ . #palmsuplife #messagesneedmessengers #speakup #takeupyourspace #youfullyalive #resistthehustle #mypeople By the way, is there a message that’s trying to come through you and we need to hear it more clearly? Go for it. Take up some space. Do what you were made for. We need to hear it. 🙌🏼

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