I used to power through anything tough in front of me.
Feeling frustrated? I knew to lock my jaw, tighten my fists and make it through.
Feeling sad? Bite my lip, swallow the lump in my throat, and focus on something else.
Feeling overwhelmed or confused? Just keep doing something, anything, with confidence. You can fool most people.
Powering through felt like my only option. I would never have entertained being honest with the people around me about my REAL feelings. Let alone be honest with myself. So if I couldn’t get quiet and listen to what I really felt, then my only option was to perfect my powering through behaviors. I was pretty good at them. So good, that even though people know I’ve struggled with high functioning anxiety and panic attacks, I don’t think they see a big difference in me today. I functioned “so well” and powered through like a pro.
Inside, however, my heart, brain, soul, energy and perspective is brand new. I’ve rewired my reactions to life around me. Meditation has given me a slower pace of life. I’m able to see and feel things with freedom. Life is still hard, because life is always hard for each of us in its own way. But I’m walking through it very differently than I was a year ago.
For any of you who struggle with this stuff, here’s something fascinating to me. No one will stop you. Most of them think you’re doing well. My husband couldn’t even understand the depth to which I was powering through my life. A year later, we’re still uncovering coping mechanisms I created that must be let go so we can have a healthy relationship.
For those of us who have been saving ourselves for years with our powering through, you’re going to have to do something really uncomfortable.
It’s time to let someone else save you. Let someone else catch you. Hold you. It’s time to trust someone else with your life.
We feel like powering through works because we are making everything happen. The power source needs to shift.
This might mean getting brutally honest with a trusted friend or family member.
This might mean stepping into a church to see where God might meet you in community.
This might mean buying a new journal and writing your truth.
This might mean making an appointment to see a counselor. Pour out your story and see what happens.
This might mean downloading a meditation app and learning how to get quiet and listen to your life.
It means it’s time to learn how to receive wisdom from deeper sources than simply powering through.
There’s a wisdom in and around you that watches with deep-rooted compassion, waiting to offer itself to you. But this wisdom needs some small signal from you that the white flag is about to rise.
You can keep powering through. No one will really notice. In fact, they’ll praise and encourage you for being a go-getter. If you sense you’re being invited to a different way of living, then you’ll have to stop yourself. Raise your white flag to God, yourself, a friend, a pastor. It’s the first step to learning how to receive a deeper wisdom than you could ever get by powering through.
My friends, may you learn to receive the gift of wisdom you need in this season. Don’t just power through. Palms up and receive.